Statement of Faethe

I believe in faeries and Christ-consciousness.

I believe that witches have been much maligned by religion and that, although there can be misuse of power, there can also be much beauty and goodness in the power of the intuition and its ability to interact with elements of nature and spirit. The world has lost a lot of magic and it is time to start finding it again. I believe magic can be used for good or bad, but whatever you use it for will affect you even more than your intended. Intentions are magic, some people know that, some people don't. People with a lot of effective emotion behind their intentions are already practicing magic. Anyone with a lot of emotion is already a witch. Women tend to be particularly full of emotion and intuition, a lot of people ridicule that, but probably because they know deep down that it is a type of power and there are a lot of power struggles in the world. Some people have been trained to deny their emotions, that creates a black hole. Have you learned about black holes?

Emotions, actions, and words are all different. Just because you have emotions does not mean that you can use them however you wish, at least not without consequences. Weigh the consequences of words and actions, but never deny emotions. Emotions are always valid, actions are not always justifiable. Words have power, and you can't take them back. How have you used your powers?

Work ethics are important, but so is stillness.

Balance is the key.

Your surroundings will reflect your psyche... it might take time, but you really can get a good look inside yourself by staying in one place for a long time and seeing what your surroundings look like. We are all creators and/or destroyers. There are other creators and destroyers as well... there are many mysteries.

You can get a good look at the psyche of others by observing their surroundings also. What's up with acres and acres of boring grass? What's up with poison?

Messes aren't necessarily a bad thing, they aren't necessarily a good thing.

Cleanliness isn't necessarily next to godliness, but creativity is.

I find the term "Christian" insulting. Christianity was created by the man called Apostle Paul and I cannot stand his legacy. He wrote some good things, that he most likely plagiarized from others, but he also created a set of cultural rules, gender regulations, religious laws and bigotry. He rode a wave of power and directed its course toward subjection of women and created a religious order that was very, very contrary to the Christ-consciousness. All I can say about that is that evil can be alchemized eventually... I think that is beginning to happen. I sure hope so! I also think he stole Peter's identity and tried to steal his calling, but that is just my belief... rooted in studying theology, history and the Bible....

The Bible is a library. What you see in it depends on who you are. I see stories. Other people say they see truth, but what they mean by that is that they are right and people should do what they are told by whoever has the biggest guns.

My ancient ancestors were Gaelic. I am reclaiming aspects of that heritage and adding my own modern twist.

I love learning, I hate being told what to learn or how to learn "properly."

It is okay to rest.

It is okay to not be accepted by everyone.

It is not okay to not accept yourself.

I believe in energy. I believe it manifests in more ways than we can ever hope to understand. We call the manifestations by many names. I don't rule out anything just because I don't understand it, but there are cruel things that I don't want to accept as good. Cultures define good and bad differently, that doesn't make it right or wrong. There may or may not be an inherent truth, but I am still seeking it.

I was told that for every unkind thing you say to someone you have to say 10 kind things if you want to balance out the relationship in a healthy way, but I think there is more to the story. We will all probably say unkind things at some time or another, the first one might require 10 kind things for balance, the second one might require 11, the third 12, the fourth 13, the fifth 14, the sixth 15, etc.... If you are in the habit of saying unkind things you will eventually not be able to balance out the relationship. It is just math. Also, some unkind words weigh more than others. Some people don't even try to balance out their unkind words and then appear shocked when the relationship is unhealthy.

I have a lot to learn.

Theoretical Metaphysics

Once upon a time a friend's mother criticized North American women in general and me in particular for giving birth wrong. It is quite trendy to criticize mothers in birth, apparently there should be no screaming, no painkiller, no stress, no doctors, etc. Perhaps they are correct in their criticisms, perhaps not, perhaps the critics need criticized, perhaps not.

It has also been said that the better a woman's relationship with her mother, the more smoothly she will deliver her babies. Hmmm.... that explains an awful lot, seriously. I have no idea who to attribute that original thought to, but I have been fascinated by mother/daughter relationships and birth stories ever since.

So, my theory is this (it just came to me at 3:00 am as I was trying to sleep): 

An unborn child's chakras are initially stimulated by its mother's chakras. All throughout life our chakras can be influenced by ourselves and others, but an unborn child's first energetic chakra interaction is with its mother. 

First the Sacral Chakra is activated. A child will probably not attach to the womb if the sacral chakra is too unbalanced, thus an inability to conceive at all. Difficulties may be more likely to arise if a woman is at odds with the energies of the sacral chakra. If a woman's sacral chakra is whole she can more easily accept the new life being offered. 

Second the Solar Chakra, the umbilical cord develops to receive nurture. The solar chakra is said to be an energy center of choice. For many reasons the choice to remain in the womb results in miscarriage, but many more times the choice is made to stay. The child accepts the mother, the child bonds with the mother, what the mother eats and drinks at this point is her choice, though she is not the only life affected by that choice.

Third, the heart chakra is activated. It is the chakra of wholeness, of love. How very profound, the love between mother and infant. Of course, we all know that sometimes things do not always work out as ideally as could be hoped. Sometimes mothers are not whole in their own heart chakra and they cannot pass on something that they do not have themselves. If their heart chakras are too blocked or unbalanced they may desire to terminate the pregnancy, or they may choose to give the child up for adoption, or perhaps the child is raised by its birth mother, but a lack of maternal intimacy creates a difficulty for the child to enter into other intimate relationships. All these things are difficult, but perhaps less difficult with chakral awareness. 

The throat, brow and crown each have their turn, and I am sure that upon deeper reflection much insight could be gleaned... 

The root chakra is last. If an unborn baby's root chakra is activated before it is born it is not a good sign and can make the child very sick, but if the root chakra is stimulated, as it should be, during the birth, as it passes through the birth canal, all is better. I do not want to say that all is well, because the birth canal connects a child to its spiritual ancestral legacies, at least on the mother's side. I suppose that the spiritual connection to the father's side has something to do with how the mother and father's root chakras have interacted up to that time.... 

So, aboriginal, indigenous type women, with clear connections to their spiritual roots would possibly have less complicated deliveries. A woman whose relationship to her matriarchal clan is not clear would possibly have very complicated deliveries, so much so that the root chakra may not even allow the birth, causing a need for a c-section. Which, in itself seems like a betrayal of feminine instinct, but on the other hand, in this passing era of patriarchy, for a child to disconnect from a heritage of misogyny is probably a very good thing. To instead be born through a different chakra symbolism is powerful.

The root chakra, which is the birth canal, is a chakra of survival instinct. If a child's chakra is not activated by the survival instinct of its mother it is likely to be activated by the survival instinct of a collective. In other words, the child may be less territorial for one particular tribe, and more considered about survival of the species.

Oh, Ye Sensitive Souls

Oh, ye sensitive souls,
those who know
when a kind word
is needed most,
but perhaps not why,
or how desperately.
May you always
receive the same.

Oh, ye sensitive souls,
who know where the
spot is most tender
and press hard,
until tears flow,
so you can feel your
own power.
May you know weakness.
May it heal you.

Oh, ye sensitive souls,
that are not yet born,
that are even now
choosing this life,
your path, your trials,
your joys, your heartbreaks,
take heart, you are needed.
May you know meaning
and great good
and hope.

Now Is Always A Beginning

     According to seemingly valid historical documents, Columbus was a jerk. I refuse to celebrate Columbus Day anymore. When people rant about how much of a jerk he was I totally concur! I just read a rant from someone about how Thanksgiving too should be shunned, how it is about respecting a history of genocide. The Pilgrims did also have their fair share of faults, and I won't defend them one iota. However, I don't think they hold the rights to thankfulness. Just because they had a famous harvest meal in the first years of their colonization does not mean that I need to be ashamed of my harvest meals. They also had another harvest meal on Llammas a few years later, it is less popular, but does that make them Catholic or Pagan? Harvest feasts are not exclusive to anyone. Being thankful does not hold any guilt by association. What you choose to respect is your business, here in this house we are not expressing thankfulness to Pilgrims. We are simply being thankful. It is good for the soul. I do not pretend to understand the deities, but I do believe they exist. I do believe it is also wise to express thankfulness to all Benevolences.

    I do not condone the ill-treatment of anyone. I have an ever-growing respect for the beliefs and lifestyles of indigenous people. When I was born, here in this state, all that had been long gone. I can't turn back the hands of time. I can move forward with as much awareness as possible, I can be thankful for the chance to live another day, to appreciate the divine blessings, to delve ever deeper into the old stories and learn about the ancient spirits, to taste the tastes and hear the sounds and contemplate a way to infuse peace into the future.

     Tonight is a full moon. We are breathing, my house is bustling with life and love. May the good things that we are thankful for ripple out positive vibrations and may the good things that others are thankful for do the same. May the magic of love and blessing heal the wounds of the past and create wisdom and symbiosis for the future. Now is always a beginning.

Curses and Blessings

I dedicate this post to the current Gemini Full Moon, that no doubt inspired my urge to write today.


According to the Biblical story, God did not tell Eve personally to not eat of the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, only Adam was told directly by God. (Genesis 2:15-18) Eve was privy to an embellished version, since she knew enough of it to talk to the serpent about consequences (Genesis 3:3-5), but what she said to the serpent was an embellishment on what we are told God said to Adam, adding "you must not touch it." Isn't that the way of it? Embellishments, there are so many of them in patriarchal religions. Extra consequences, when we have plenty enough of them without making up extras, why do that?

I have often mused over the Eden story. I am a woman. Paul said that Eve was the sinner, not Adam. That Eve brought the curse down on all our heads and that is why she needs to sit down, shut up, be pregnant. No forgiveness for the mistake of Eve, not for Eve, not for all women.... according to what we are told Paul said in 1 Timothy 2:12-14.

Of course, any woman with any self-respect is going to cringe at such a statement, and men too, I should hope! For centuries this mindset of Paul has been used to shape the structures of religious congregations and religious households and even entire societies. Second rate citizens, that is what women have been. Feminism got ahold of that injustice and shook the bugs out of it, bringing the outrageous nature of it into the light. Feminism swings the pendulum pretty far while striving for women's equality, and personally, sometimes I think the point gets kind of lost, but I am grateful for the clean slate that they have been attempting to offer my generation. "Do what you want, girls, we have cleared the path for you!" Why, thank you, thank you very much.

I was reading some thoughts of the Taoist, Osho, this morning. He was referring to the Adam and Eve story, linking it to the Mary and Jesus story. His thoughts were along the lines of "through woman the curse entered the world, and through woman the curse was broken." At first, I did not like what he was saying. After all, Adam gave Eve misinformation and she didn't receive consequences until Adam ate the fruit, so surely Eve is the one who was not at fault, but....

The other thing I have come to notice, thanks to the outrageous claims made by Paul of the Bible, is that Adam was created first, then Eve, so that makes him boss, according to Paul (1 Timothy 2:13). With that kind of math, everything created before Adam would be boss over Adam, no? What makes more sense and is also stated in the Genesis story, is that Adam was to be boss over all of creation, or so it gets translated by much of today's Christians. What I think it is really saying is that Adam is to be the caretaker, the nurturer, the nanny, the keeper, of all that was created before him, and the same for Eve. Although, Eve was especially given the task of caring for Adam, which, in the same respect could get misinterpreted as being the boss of Adam, and from the musing of some anthropologists, that is exactly what the world was like for thousands of years, matriarchal. Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob came to be known as some of the first famous Patriarchs. The stories have all been filtered through the subsequent ruling of patriarchs. Things are now beginning to come to light again, the true order of things, the symbiosis that is meant to be. Men are to care for all that is, and women are to care for mankind, causing much to overlap.

So, what does the Genesis story say to me now? It says that Eve invited Adam to do something that was not in his best spiritual interest and she knew it. The story of Mary, on the other hand, is a story of a mother's sacrificial love, supporting her beloved child through the hardest choices that any mother could have to face. Her son was tortured for the best interest of the spirituality of mankind. At least, that is what the stories say.

I can sort of see now why Catholics revere Mary so highly, but I don't see why that didn't translate into a better world. Why women continued to be treated badly because of Eve. Paul is the anti-Christ, in my opinion. The Christ is alive and well amongst those that understand the Christ-consciousness, and that enlightenment holds the key to understanding true salvation.

What are we being saved from? Curses, I suppose. What are curses? Imbalances. Who curses? I don't know for sure, maybe everyone that utters a negative statement or desire, but I do believe that the counter-curse is blessing. "Bless those that curse you." (Luke 6:28) That is the basis for being a Green Witch. Thank you, Jesus the Christ, who I believe was the first "Druid," the founder of the people of the faith, the Fae People...  Friend of the Faeries. Eventually the Quakers were also to be called the Friends, a people who began to experience the enlightenment of the Christ-consciousness in spite of the overwhelming religious dogma of their era.

I have noticed three out-of-season blooms in our yard this autumn. According to superstition they are cursed flowers, do not pick them, and especially do not bring them into your home, they say. I remember the curse breaker, "Bless those that curse you." I blessed the little things, after all, you shouldn't shoot the messenger. I am guessing that they are a sign of the polluted state of Gaia. We should certainly learn how to bless the cursed. Bless all that you come in contact with.


One more opinion regarding Paul of the Bible, he parroted. Much of what Paul writes is not original thought. What makes him a novelty is that he also includes some original thought amongst all the plagiarisms. He snags some amazing words from some amazing people and he gets credit for them. In other words, not everything attributed to Paul is crap. Like all really great liars, the trouble lies in a  small percentage of his propaganda, namely the order of things and the embellishments that go over and above what Christ taught. Christians tend to see Paul as a great clarifier, an additional blessing, because Christ and the many, many followers that he personally taught (1 John 1:1 'whom we have seen with our eyes, whom we have touched') weren't quite enough for us? (Sarcastic) Apparently, the simple instructions of Christ were too confusing for many... "Love? Seriously? There has got to be more," they waited and then, "Subjugation of women! Thank you, Paul, now we have something to work with!" Religion in general, I'm currently annoyed by it, but I do think there is much to learn from the past. Stories, they teach, but different people learn different things.

In the Old Testamant, the word that gets translated as prophet (nabi) means prophet/speaker. In the New Testament the word that gets translated as prophet (dikaios) means prophet/poet.


Translating according to Amy: (Words of the Christ from Matt. 10:40-42): Anyone who accepts you accepts me, and anyone who accepts me accepts the One who sent me. Whoever accepts a poetic-seer as a poet-seer receives a poet-seer's reward, and whoever accepts a divinely impartial man receives an divinely impartial man's reward, and whoever gives even a cup of water to a little one due to the example of learning from me shall surely be rewarded.



“This is what you shall do; Love the earth and sun and the animals, despise riches, give alms to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men, go freely with powerful uneducated persons and with the young and with the mothers of families, read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life, re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and your very flesh shall be a great poem and have the richest fluency not only in its words but in the silent lines of its lips and face and between the lashes of your eyes and in every motion and joint of your body.” 
― Walt Whitman

Current Events

It isn't that I don't view "refugees" as I would view my own friends and neighbors. I view them exactly like my friends and neighbors. I don't particularly get along well with some of my neighbors, and many of my friends and I overlook the ever-growing gulf of religious differences, at least the ones that still call themselves my "friends" seem to. I also have an ever-growing list of friends that don't have to overlook anything to appreciate the friendship, delightful, that.

The current "refugee crisis" is a crisis of underdogs, basically. The ones that are without the most violent power are seeking refuge from the ones who are displaying the strongest shows of violent power. If some of the tables were turned and my radical, fundamental Christian friends and neighbors found themselves in a similar plight, you better believe they would get increasingly violent and make large violent displays of power, for awhile anyway, until they ran out of bullets and then they would also seek refuge and have terribly sad stories. I would probably end up seeking refuge as well,
even deer hunting season around here leaves me considering refuge elsewhere! Even though I am a pacifist and not a Christian, wherever we would find ourselves looking for a safe haven they would not be able to distinguish us and our motivations from each other, they would not be able to weigh the violence in our hearts, or lack thereof, and they would not be able to ascertain our futures. They would not know that I was raised a Christian, but have chosen a deeper, older faith. They would not know if we had something beneficial to offer their homeland, or if we were a doomsday threat. That is exactly how I view everyone, not just refugees. Everyone is a book unable to be judged by its cover. Everyone. Every single person we encounter every single day, some of them are living with extreme abuse in their personal lives and some of them will become abusers, maybe they already are, some won't. Some will justify abuse of others due to the abuse they have personally witnessed. Some will be able to let the wrongs go, probably few, but some. Some will learn to be discerning and insightful and will be the gems that the world needs to become a better place.

Suffering adjusts discernment. Sadly, abuse tends to create abusers, that is a very unpopular fact and it is not conclusive. The problem with the refugee crisis is that people see themselves. They know their own human nature and they know that given the same situation they would be a predictably unpredictable lot (like saying 80% will be violent, and 20% will be peaceful, but not knowing who falls into which category), they already are predictably unpredictable and they are very afraid of what suffering would show them about themselves.

We cannot see things in others that do not exist somewhere in ourselves. The question is, what are we cultivating and justifying?

Going the Way of the Buffalo.... or the Goddess... You Decide.

Who am I that you should listen to me? I am nobody, nothing, not much of anything significant. Almost no one reads this blog anymore since I have dropped the drama, it is boring. I am just a middle-aged white homeschool mommy blogger with a high school education and a fascination for seeking.... something. This is my most real identity (I also don't like commas, but sometimes they are necessary). It isn't my only identity. There are days when I am sure that I mean something, that I am highly significant, but those feelings are brief, fleeting, they are ants under the giant magnifying glass of society. There are also days when I am the child that my parents hate or even worse, don't think about at all. I am worse than dead to them, they don't grieve my absence or wish for more days with me, they wish I was never born. I have come to realize that is also a view that society has, over-population, wishing that more and more people just don't get born. Wow. Happy Days... not.

I started to reflect on thoughts like this first thing this morning when my alarm went off. NPR was talking about a recent study that highlighted a "disturbing" trend among the middle-aged white population that topped out their education with a high school diploma. Hmmm... I am part of the middle aged white population with a high school diploma. I have a homeschool diploma. I went to school for 12 years, K-11, and then I homeschooled my last year. I didn't actually need to. I kind of thought that I didn't actually need to, but when I had a meeting with the vice-principal of my high school about graduating early, since most of my classes were with the class above me, he told me that I could not due to needing more credits. So, I homeschooled my senior year, since I was bored with school, and when I went for my end of the year evaluation for approval for a certified diploma the evaluator said that I didn't even need the last year, I had plenty of credits from school. I had mixed emotions about that. I have chosen to home educate my own children, but every year I ask them if they prefer to be home or if they would like to try out school. They do not want to commit to school. I don't blame them, but I do wonder what life has in store for them. I don't know how homeschoolers fit into the middle-aged white "dilemma." I guess we will find out.

As for me, like I said, I seek, and sometimes I find. Through my seeking I have discovered the possibility that people need communities. It is a strong possibility. People are generally not designed to be solitary, but they do need the freedom of personal space and solitude. It is a confusing blend, but we see this demonstrated with chickens. If you force too many chickens to be together in a confined space they turn on each other, but if you let them wander freely about they flock and stick up for each other. They prefer to flock with other chickens that look like them, "birds of a feather flock together," they really do, but if none of them actually look like each other they will hang with chickens simply because they are chickens, if they don't have other chickens they will find ducks or geese or peafowl, if they don't have those they will find whatever they can, they like companionship, but they don't like crowded spaces. We are much the same, but the world is so full of crowded spaces, and when we do flock together, much like chickens, we establish pecking orders and territorial flocking spaces. It is kind of simple, kind of. Factory farmed chickens are raised in large, crowded spaces, they are debeaked, and deinstincted, much like people. We too are being raised in large, crowded space, deweaponed and deinstincted. It is hard to trust our own kind, we are so far removed from our instincts, we don't even know which feather we are in order to identify the others that look like us, we are having a hard time seeing our souls, and that is really what defines us.

Does this dilemma have a story? Yes, a long, foggy, complicated one, but the short, oversimplified version is that well-meaning concepts have been attached to pendulums that swing wildly out of control. What is good in moderation is not good in excess, basically. Sharing one's spiritual beliefs, for instance, is a great thing to do, forcing those beliefs on entire civilizations at the cost of death is not a good thing to do, yet it has been done for centuries, therein lies the root of the current problems. The solution is a tiny little sprout, I hope it is a stubborn weed.

The solution lies in the power of our instinctive spirit not dying when they confine us and debeak us. The solution lies in realizing that ants are not defined by the magnifying glass. The solution lies in using those beaks for what they should be used for, not for defense, they are great for defense, but they are best used for foraging. We are the same, what we use to harm others is really just meant for foraging, mindfully. Chickens are not vegetarians, nature is not vegetarian. There are vegetarians in nature, and carnivores eat them like big, yummy plant byproducts. That does not mean that vegetarians should be disrespected, or that they are not part of the circle of life. It also does not mean that carnivores should be disrespected, or that they are not part of the circle of life. It does mean that there is a circle of life, with a balance of life and death. What society offers us is a circle of death, and no balance. Look around you, are you being defined by a symbol of death, such as, say, a cross, or a gun? It is your identity, you are very proud of it, you would peck your neighbor to death to defend that identity of yours, and you wouldn't feel guilty about it. Or would you... who are you? Who am I? What happens when we die? What happens when our neighbor dies? Is there hope in these answers, or fear? Hope and fear get so intertwined. "I know I am going to heaven not hell!" I have heard since I was a wee lass. The fear of hell seems to balance out the joy of heaven, for so many. I too entered into that mindset as a child, but as I became more and more of a seeker I just wasn't all that happy about being part of an elite minority. I wanted to be part of a symbiosis of life. I wanted everyone and everything to have a beautiful part in this life and in whatever comes next. All rainbows and butterflies and light and joy! I hoped, then I had a nightmare that all the trees in my yard were chopped down, that there was nothing but sunshine, so much sunshine! I realized that darkness has a good place, but are there types of darkness, surely darkness is dangerous, metaphorically speaking, or is it just metaphor? We are a solar-powered planet, I think, it seems anyway. We do literally need light, but we also need darkness, literally and metaphorically. That is what the religions don't excel at, the cooling, refreshing darkness, the balance. They show us the dangers of excessive darkness, and they are correct, when the pendulum swings too far there is trouble, but they don't highlight the dangers of excessive light. They showed us the cross and we have run so far the other way that we are standing thirsty in a desert of light, a crowded desert.

The information shared by NPR this morning was like an arrow of poignant thought for me. I then looked up another article online by the NYTimes. (Here is a link Middle-Aged White American Crisis) A lack of college education is being emphasized as a determining factor, but I am seeing something deeper. I heard the article to be saying that out of an elite majority in the "Land of the Free and Home of the Brave" we have raised a hopeless generation, disconnected from their communities and disgusted with their society. There are some that fit in with societal standards, they are the ones that go to college and semi-happily find purpose in the "rat race." Have you read, "Who Moved My Cheese?" The other ones, the white ones, the enslavers, the ones who aren't allowed to have white pride, the ones that have been given the benefit of being born in America with all the privileges of being a caucasian in the "best country in the world," the ones that have no excuse to not succeed, because they have been given every advantage, the ones that weren't born in huts without running water, the ones that have achieved the much promoted high school diploma.... they have decided that life hurts. Life hurts so much that they need to numb the pain with whatever they can get their hands on. That reminds me of another article I read recently about the nature of addiction. (Here is a link Human Connection and the Roots of Addiction) Seems that people need people, and not just to be forced to be together in confined spaces. Learn from the chickens, folks. Why does that chicken keep crossing the road? I think the road might be the answer. We have had several chickens hit by cars, sadly. We confine them in movable coops, but sometimes they just love to run about. They are so happy running about that I let them take their chances with it, life is short anyway. Turns out that chickens really like standing in the middle of the road, a much disdained place by society, but if you look at it from the perspective of the pendulum or scales, it looks more like balance. To be able to stand in the middle of the road without getting hit by the speed of "progress," that is what "underachieving" middle-aged white America is trying to do. They aren't dying in huts, but they don't want to be part of the rat race, and the only place left is the middle of the road. It is a lonely place to be, but if there were more and more and more chickens hanging out in the middle of the road there would probably be more cars stopping rather than running right over them, the chickens might get a tad more respect, but in America you aren't allowed to have a flock of chickens hanging out on the road. We are civilized, for crying out loud. Well, our suicide and addiction rates don't look too civilized, folks. Sorry, but we need a few more flocks of chickens to teach us about what we are doing wrong.

I really wanted to talk about trees. I think trees are the answer, and wolves, and sharks and butterflies and rainbows... and.... what does it matter what I think? No one reads this anyway, and even if they did, I don't have a college education, so my thoughts don't matter. I am just a middle-aged white American housewife, no one listens to them, not their parents, not their children, not their friends, not their government, not their God. Their Goddess on the other hand.... have you met her? Don't let that pendulum swing too far, though, the God and Goddess thrive on balance. The Chalice and the Athame, the cup and the knife, what do they symbolize to you?

The Outrageousness of Regular

Two large dogs and one small kitten
Separated by a rigged fence
A tension gate tied to a tv stand
They are good dogs
They can't take their eyes off of the small cat
They don't step across the boundary
They could easily step across the line
It is almost imaginary
A little girl tries to hold the kitten
The kitten does not trust the gate, the dogs, or the child
The kitten hasn't scratched anyone yet today

The child begins to sing to the kitten.
"You have to be trained if you want to be a grown up,
You have to be trained day and night."
The child walks toward the dogs, holding the kitten
The dogs begin to bark
The cat begins to grow tense
The child takes the kitten to a hiding place behind the couch
The dogs wish there was something more exciting to bark at
They pace from the kitchen to the living room
Barking at seemingly nothing

The little child tries to extract a promise from the kitten
"Promise me something. Promise me that you will never run off."

Taking the Semi out of Semi-Precious

What do I think I am reaching for when I reach for my crystals?

Well, for starters, what do I mean by crystals?

I mean rocks. Beautiful rocks with ancient significance, some more known to the ancients than others.

John's Revelations have some of my favorite examples of ancient crystal awareness:

"The One seated there looked like jasper and carnelian, and a rainbow gleaming like an emerald encircled the throne." 

"The foundations of the city (or people of the city) were adorned (or arranged) with every kind of precious stone: The first foundation was jasper, the second sapphire, the third chalcedony, the fourth emerald, the fifth sardonyx, the sixth carnelian, the seventh chrysolite, the eighth beryl, the ninth topaz, the tenth chrysoprase, the eleventh jacinth, and the twelfth amethyst. 

And the twelve gates were twelve pearls, with each gate consisting of a single pearl. The main street of the city was pure gold, as pure as transparent glass. 

But I saw no temple in the city...."

I'm not entirely sure how my relationship with crystals happened, I vaguely remember a chain of events, but looking back it just seemed that one day I was not aware of crystals and the next day I was addicted to their resonance. It was as if they found me, I guess they did.

17 years ago we named our cat "Jade." I don't even know why I thought that was a beautiful word, I had no idea what Jade really was.

My mother-in-law shared some jewelry with me, I suspect that one of the strings of beads is Jade, but I have yet to have that confirmed. My wondering began.

My mother gave me some Tiger's Eye earrings and an Agate pendant. My youngest daughter desired a piece of Rose Quartz and then a piece of Amethyst, and was allowed to purchase them, and when she brought it home I loved them much as she did, it seemed. I began to purchase pieces for myself and my collection grew and grew and grew. Each piece comes with an encouragement, Tiger's Eye for insight, Agate for strength, Rose Quartz for gentle love, Amethyst for spirituality. The descriptions I mentioned are very, very basic. Each stone actually has layers of meanings, and can mean different things to different people.

My collection is more than some and not as much as others, but I have developed a sense of what they mean to me, so what do I reach for when I reach for:

Labradorite? Positive magic

Carnelian? Physical attraction

Citrine? Positive finances and sunny outlook

Aventurine? Luck in love and money

Jade? Power, but not for power's sake. When I feel like positive things are happening I reach for Jade to enhance the effects of that positivity. I avoid Jade when I feel negative. It also feels like it draws me to earthy people, but repels me from those who are motivated by the "Jotunn machine."

Jasper? Comfort and beauty, although it seems like it is backfiring a bit lately. As if my motivation for being beautiful causes me to overthink my own vanity and feel insecure instead. Perhaps Jasper needs to be used along with a desire to focus on letting inner beauty be seen outwardly, as opposed to vanity. I think outward beauty is a nice thing, but without inner beauty, vanity really is like a rotten Easter egg.

Tiger's Eye? Safety while traveling

Pink Quartz? Romance

Amethyst? Enhanced spirituality

Chevron Amethyst? Clearing an area of negativity

A necklace of Lapis Lazuli combined with Smokey Quartz? Enhancement of the "clairs," i.e. clairaudience, clairsentience, clairvoyance. It also seems to be helpful in seeing auras and communicating with nature spirits. At this time it is too powerful for me to wear frivolously, or it will mess with my realities. I have to wear it in relative solitude, it is wonderful to wear while walking in nature alone.

Denim Lapis earrings? They always stand out to my husband, he always says "nice earrings." I have come to reach for them when I am planning to be focused primarily on him.

Pearls? Letting go of expectations

Amber? Warmth and pain relief

Amazonite? Strength from the inside out, literal strength for bones and teeth and skin

Sardonyx? Emotional and physical protection

Malachite? Enhanced sense of personal worth

Kyanite? Good communication skills

Selenite? Spiritual sensitivity

Garnet? Spice of life, and deflection of negativity

Turquoise? Friendship

Blue Calcite? Saying the right things

Calcite? Find my personal perfections, what is just right for my journey

Goldstone? Energetic alchemy

Howlite? Neutrality

Clear Quartz? Aspirations

Pink Mangano? Reiki Stone

There are so many more, but the aforementioned have been entering into my daily life often.

I also have a bracelet that has a variety of stones to enhance the chakra energies and I wear it for energetic balance.

These are experiential observations. I start with the meanings that have been attributed to these stones by others, and I observe how I feel while I wear them. I sense how they interact with me and my surroundings. Different people respond differently to different stones, and some people aren't open enough to responding to stones at all, they might change, they might not.

Everything has a measurable vibration, and everything can affect the vibrations around it. Vibrations are related to emotion and relationships, and emotion to health. Vibrations will affect manifestation for better or worse, might as well be for better, right?

Looking at Thoughts

I long for something.

I'm not sure what.

I feel it when I hear the struggles of others, when I know I have had similar struggles and have found something that has helped, but they don't want to try it, or they say it won't work for them for xyz reasons.

I feel it when I like someone and they don't like me back.

I feel it when I don't feel like I even like myself.

I feel it when I don't like other people.

I feel it when I am happy, because I know that life is fleeting.

I feel it when I am sad and feel alone.

I feel it when it when I am joyful, and scared.

I feel it when I don't feel alone.

There is almost always a longing for something.

I feel like I am getting closer to knowing what that something is, perhaps because of the process of elimination. Perhaps because certain aspects of this longing have been fulfilled, while others have grown increasingly stronger.

My desire to understand healing has grown stronger, while my desire to nurture has diminished.

My desire to understand psychological influences has grown stronger, while my love of baking and sewing have nearly disappeared altogether.

My love of music is faint, while my love of theories consumes my thoughts.

What do I long for? I feel like I connect with it momentarily while meditating, and sometimes while doing yoga. Sometimes when I awake from dreams I feel like I am leaving something behind that I want to keep with me while waking. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by a sense of completeness, and I am not sure why, and then I am left seeking the cause of that feeling, like an addiction. Some people say that we shouldn't trust our feelings, I don't trust those people. I don't trust anyone or anything, I don't feel like I should. Trust seems irrelevant. I want to know why. Why seems relevant. Why do people do what they do? What is their motivation?

I feel like maybe if I can understand the motivations of others I might be able to better understand my own motivations, but I just feel distanced.... I feel very disconnected from people in general. I don't necessarily want to be, but their motivations are not my motivations, even if their motivations benefit me, they still aren't necessarily my motivations.... What are my motivations? I think that is what I am searching for.....

What motivates me?

It seems so obvious when I look at others, their motivations usually seem to shine like neon lights, but I can't seem to see my own motivations.

Trying to step back and view myself as I view others, I think it might have to do with an image of keeping a cozy home with alternating seasons of hospitality and solitude. Perhaps that is what is coming.... that has never fully been for me, perhaps that is why the longing remains. A home is a powerful place, a power that should be used for good.

Top Ten(ish) Essential Oil Favorites

Let me begin by saying that this post will be about personal preference, personal experience, and personal favorites. This information is not to be considered professional advice.

I have been using essential oils for several years now and there are several that I would just feel lost without.

We began with the very popular Tea Tree Oil, and it is still a nice one, but I find myself reaching for it less and less as I get to know these other oils.

I don't know if I have a number one favorite, so these are in no particular order:

~Peppermint and Eucalyptus~ These are not the same, but I find that they can be used interchangeably for many things, such as anything related to breathing. They are cooling.

~Frankincense~What a heavy hitter! This oil is a warm one, and powerful enough to fight cancer, yet gentle enough to be used without a carrier on facial skin. In my mind, Frankincense is a deep worker than can help to cure what ails you, physically and spiritually.

~Rose~Feeling down? Reach for Rose, the most uplifting of all the oils. It might raise your vibration so quickly you could feel dizzy, grounding is a word that I have learned to use a lot! (Certain crystals help with grounding. Amethyst and Rose Quartz would probably enhance the effects of Rose Oil, while labradorite, onyx, carnelian, and sardonyx [a blend of onyx and carnelian] might help to ground, they are some of my favorites for feeling grounded, there are many more options.)  Don't reach for Rose if you are afraid of heights... metaphysically speaking. Scientifically speaking, the higher your vibration the healthier and happier you are likely to be, and there is science behind that statement.... research it yourself.

~Citruses (Lemon, Lime, Orange, Tangerine, etc)~Again, these oils are not the same, but they have many of the same affectations. Clarity and immune balancing being high on the list of why I might reach for them. I have read that Lime is one of the most popular smells on the planet. The citruses are not known to have long shelf lives and they aren't usually among the most expensive of oils, so they are nice to use often. Lemon on the bottom of the feet has been helpful for easing fevers, a few drops every two hours was recommended and possibly a much more balanced alternative than other over-the-counter fever medicines.

~Rosemary~Headaches

~Lavender~Flies and moths don't like it, and it is a general soother, also good for breathing issues and immune balancing.

~Lemongrass~ Try it for yourself. I don't even know what to say about this one.... it seems to enhance whatever positive energy is already present.

~Clove~ Another powerful punch, it just seems to kill negative things like pain, bad breath, parasites,  germs, etc...


These Blends from Eden's Garden are also among my "always want to have on hand" list:

~Four Thieves Blend~Clove, Lemon, Eucalyptus, Rosemary (good for what ails ya, pretty much)

~Stay Alert Blend~In spite of its name, this oil is great for promoting a good night's sleep, silencing snoring and enhancing breathing, when used on the length of the spine in combination with frankincense it can encourage circulation while sleeping, and some have reported incredible healing.

~PMS Ease Blend~this is a great for the complaints related to female hormones

~Peace Blend~Doesn't the name say it all? We have also found that it is soothing for itchy skin due to poison ivy or bug bites. I also like to use Peace or Frankincense on my hands when practicing Reiki.


Most of these oils are also great for cleaning and repelling pests. There are many more that we have tried and liked, but this list includes the ones I find myself reaching for again, and again, and again, and again....

Being American

We did it. We created America. A few hundred years have gone by and we are still here, the Americans. Who are we? Who am I? This American that I am.

This morning I awoke to the sound of my alarm clock radio and an NPR interview with American musician Zack Condon. He is different from me, but his words resonated similarities. Searching the world for my own sound. Finding it at home. Thank you for that, Zack.

I haven't actually gone searching like he did, but my husband has done some traveling. The more he reflects on the differences in places and cultures the more I wonder who we are, as a people. Are we a people. The world seems to see us a people, "those Americans." Some want to be us, some want to destroy us, but they all know that we are here. Whoever we are.

We came here to this country from all over the world and fought with the people that were already here. I was told in Christian School that they were heathens. I am now surprised that people are still saying that. Less people are saying that, but people are still saying that.

We have attempted to destroyed this place. We have cut down the ancient forests. We have polluted the pristine streams. We have poisoned the fish and obliterated the birds and slaughtered the buffalo. We have made a mess of things. I was taught that we should be proud of ourselves. I am ashamed.

If we continue to recreate our futures as we have been living the past we may miss out on the opportunity to learn the best lessons from our deep-rooted histories. Travelers from America go looking all over the world for meaning and perspective. They go to places with older architecture and older habits and they litter and offend and spend lots of money and come home feeling richer for it. Why? What are they bringing back except bragging rights?

We should become humble. We should share this earth with all living things, as much as we possibly know how, and we know how, but greed prevents it. Fear prevents it. Will fear save us from ourselves?

What does it mean to be an American. An American housewife at that. You may have guessed by now that I am led by my heart. That my children motivate my thoughts on the future. All children motivate my thoughts for the future. What sort of future are we laying out for them? What tools are we giving them to survive and thrive?

I'd like to think that we are learning, evolving into a kinder more symbiotic species. Maybe we need a  cold, hard glimpse of ourselves, maybe we need mercy. I have read the histories of religions. I have talked with and listened to atheists. I have become pagan.

A Pagan American, what is that? I hesitate to seek out other pagans, I know we are all on our own path. Paganism is a journey of experience. Perhaps a love of nature unites? The invaders of this pristine land called the original people pagans. May we reignite the lessons that the spirits of the land taught them, and become a new type of people, a blending of the old ways inspired by the lessons we have learned for the new ways. May this melting pot of fury and pain and greed and quest boil down into a wisdom and hope and love. May we find our true freedom and the freedom that belongs to this place. May we live in true peace. We are all Earthlings, we are made of stars.

Pray Tell, Are You Postmodern? Are You Wonderful?

The education crisis in America is a personal crisis. It is the result of a paradigm shift. Generation X has been asking hard questions and the Baby Boomers are frustrated. "Why can't the generation of young parents just accept the traditions?" The older folks ask themselves. "Kids these days," they say.

What has happened is an explosion of information and technology that has opened up a virtual world. This virtual world makes it hard for us to keep our walls up so high. It makes it hard for us to deny that we are part of a collective. Every time we think we have found a boundary that defines us, that boundary moves. Our minds were still forming as we saw images of astronauts on the moon. Our childhood yards were littered with huge satellite dishes and noisy lawn mowers. Most of our great-grandparents, and in some cases our grandparents, knew lives without electricity, indoor plumbing, gas-powered lawn equipment, Monday Night Football, or fast food. They want us to continue raising our children as our parents were raised, as they assume we were raised, but who even raised us? A collective, that's who. A collective that was evolving faster than the speed of light. We are just now catching up enough to be able to even see.

There is a voice inside the head of younger parents these days, a voice that says, "You don't have to go outside yourself to belong, just be yourself." "Who am I?" We answer back.

Why are we here?

When we can answer that question we can better know how to raise children. The older generations had various answers for that question, but none of them seem valid these days. There is too much information to the contrary. Modern moms need to be philosophers, and modern dads want them to be, or are we now postmodern?

Generation Y is changing society. They seem optimistic that nothing can go wrong if they don't want it to. Are they correct? Is the power of positive thinking truly powerful? What is wrong? All I can come up with after years of musing is that imbalance is what is wrong, if anything is wrong. Who defines balance? What determines imbalance? There is an ecological intelligence that seems to know. The balance in nature is evident wherever humans have not invaded. Why do progressive humans feel compelled to upset that balance? What is progress if it isn't balance? After much musing I can only seem to come up with the answers of comfort and fear of suffering. They sell us comfort and it rules the world of humans. Anything that makes us more comfortable is at the top of the priority list, but are we really, truly comfortable, or are we sedated? There is a comfort that comes from a feeling of being connected to the balance of nature, and there is a comfort that comes from being isolated from nature by utilizing it at a resource. Are these the opposing consciousnesses? Are these two poles at the heart of the education crisis? Have we been taught that God is a resource to be utilized? Are gods involved in the balance of nature? Do they have opinions about us? What should we tell our children? What is important? Food? Shelter? The pursuit of happiness? Being a productive member of society? How many societies are there? What does it mean to be productive? Is there another way? Is it a good way? Is it a better way? Is there consciousness after death, is that life? Who knows these things? The richest person? The most dogmatic person? The oldest person? The youngest person? God? Can we talk to a god? Will a god talk back? Are we gods? What is the definition of a god? What is worship? Do we worship ourselves? Do we pray to each other? Do we pray to ourselves? If you answer these things quickly, thinking you know... you haven't become a philosopher yet..... and child-raising probably also seems straightforward to you. Why have you even gotten this far reading my post? Go, do something productive... you'll feel more comfortable.

New Aelyndell Greetings

At first she was a constant breeze
Tickling, giggling in the trees
More somber then she did become
Until I knew we were as One
Mother, Daughter, Old, yet New
Whispers, colors, glistening dew
Meandering, rippling, walking brook
Hovering, drifting, named Chi Nook
Virtual train tracks, red shining deer,
Highways, byways, far and near.
Gates and fences, walls and doors,
Crystals, fire, Ladies, Lords.
Mystic, mentor, still small voice
Echoes, messages, "Rejoice, rejoice!"
Like pen pals who do finally meet
Be Blessed!
Be Gentle!
Be Strong!
We greet.

All things she is surround me
I did not know 'til now
"She, my dear, has raised thee."
I do not know quite how,
But this I am for certain
As I raise my glass in toast,
She is the Goddess Elen
The Hostess with the most!
"There is an Order of hers
The women who are called
Maiden, Mothers, Crones, dear
They are the Priestesses of Old
The New, the gentler Age, dear
The Beauties can now shine
A hard won day has dawned, dear
Era of the Balanced Time"

Celebrating Syncretic Paganism

So many good vibrations today, and maybe a few not so good ones, but they are the mysteries, not the fears, at least not at the moment. Blogging started out as a bit of an exercise in finding myself, and then I found a mess of myself! I had so much to say I created several blogs to organize all the areas of my thoughts and then my thoughts were evolving so quickly that I felt ashamed of most of the depth  of my writings. I am no longer ashamed, even though I have changed a great deal, sort of. Really, what has happened is that I have truly found myself. The layers of paint that others applied have been pealed off layer by layer until all that remains is the wood grain, the instinctual pattern of who I am, the evidence of the type of roots and fruit that my type can produce. What is my type? Turns out that I am a NeoPagan Tree, rooted in the ancient instincts of Euro-Paganism, but with a New World twist, a new understanding of spiritual interactions. Two things that Peter pointed out for the Gentiles that would follow the New Way were no blood sacrifices and no non-committal orgies, in other words, "the marriage bed is sacred," respect it and enjoy it as such, and you don't have to kill things to honor God, quite the opposite. Historically these two things, blood sacrifice and orgies, were the foothold for much despair, although, there is no blame being laid here, just learning.

From what I understand, technically, the word "pagan" means someone who is not Catholic, Jewish, or Christian (followers of the teachings of Paul's version of Jesus). For many people "pagan" is synonymous with "heathen" or "hedonistic," but these days the term is more accurately understood to mean "the people that look to nature to find their gods." I started down that path because of verses I read in the Bible, such as:

 Job 12:3-10 (NASB) "  

3“But I have intelligence as well as you;

            I am not inferior to you
            And who does not know such things as these?

      4“I am a joke to my friends,
            The one who called on God and He answered him;
            The just and blameless man is a joke.

      5“He who is at ease holds calamity in contempt,
            As prepared for those whose feet slip.

      6“The tents of the destroyers prosper,
            And those who provoke God are secure,
            Whom God brings into their power.

      7“But now ask the beasts, and let them teach you;
            And the birds of the heavens, and let them tell you.

      8“Or speak to the earth, and let it teach you;
            And let the fish of the sea declare to you.

      9“Who among all these does not know
            That the hand of the LORD has done this,

      10In whose hand is the life of every living thing,

            And the breath of all mankind?"

And Job 40:6-41

6Then the Lord spoke to Job out of the storm:

7“Brace yourself like a man;

I will question you,

and you shall answer me.

8“Would you discredit my justice?

Would you condemn me to justify yourself?

9Do you have an arm like God’s,

and can your voice thunder like his?

10Then adorn yourself with glory and splendor,

and clothe yourself in honor and majesty.

11Unleash the fury of your wrath,

look at all who are proud and bring them low,

12look at all who are proud and humble them,

crush the wicked where they stand.

13Bury them all in the dust together;

shroud their faces in the grave.

14Then I myself will admit to you

that your own right hand can save you.

15“Look at Behemoth,

which I made along with you

and which feeds on grass like an ox.

16What strength it has in its loins,

what power in the muscles of its belly!

17Its tail sways like a cedar;

the sinews of its thighs are close-knit.

18Its bones are tubes of bronze,

its limbs like rods of iron.

19It ranks first among the works of God,

yet its Maker can approach it with his sword.

20The hills bring it their produce,

and all the wild animals play nearby.

21Under the lotus plants it lies,

hidden among the reeds in the marsh.

22The lotuses conceal it in their shadow;

the poplars by the stream surround it.

23A raging river does not alarm it;

it is secure, though the Jordan should surge against its mouth.

24Can anyone capture it by the eyes,

or trap it and pierce its nose?

1“Can you pull in Leviathan with a fishhook

or tie down its tongue with a rope?

2Can you put a cord through its nose

or pierce its jaw with a hook?

3Will it keep begging you for mercy?

Will it speak to you with gentle words?

4Will it make an agreement with you

for you to take it as your slave for life?

5Can you make a pet of it like a bird

or put it on a leash for the young women in your house?

6Will traders barter for it?

Will they divide it up among the merchants?

7Can you fill its hide with harpoons

or its head with fishing spears?

8If you lay a hand on it,

you will remember the struggle and never do it again!

9Any hope of subduing it is false;

the mere sight of it is overpowering.

10No one is fierce enough to rouse it.

Who then is able to stand against me?

11Who has a claim against me that I must pay?

Everything under heaven belongs to me.

12“I will not fail to speak of Leviathan’s limbs,

its strength and its graceful form.

13Who can strip off its outer coat?

Who can penetrate its double coat of armor^a ?

14Who dares open the doors of its mouth,

ringed about with fearsome teeth?

15Its back has^b rows of shields

tightly sealed together;

16each is so close to the next

that no air can pass between.

17They are joined fast to one another;

they cling together and cannot be parted.

18Its snorting throws out flashes of light;

its eyes are like the rays of dawn.

19Flames stream from its mouth;

sparks of fire shoot out.

20Smoke pours from its nostrils

as from a boiling pot over burning reeds.

21Its breath sets coals ablaze,

and flames dart from its mouth.

22Strength resides in its neck;

dismay goes before it.

23The folds of its flesh are tightly joined;

they are firm and immovable.

24Its chest is hard as rock,

hard as a lower millstone.

25When it rises up, the mighty are terrified;

they retreat before its thrashing.

26The sword that reaches it has no effect,

nor does the spear or the dart or the javelin.

27Iron it treats like straw

and bronze like rotten wood.

28Arrows do not make it flee;

slingstones are like chaff to it.

29A club seems to it but a piece of straw;

it laughs at the rattling of the lance.

30Its undersides are jagged potsherds,

leaving a trail in the mud like a threshing sledge.

31It makes the depths churn like a boiling caldron

and stirs up the sea like a pot of ointment.

32It leaves a glistening wake behind it;

one would think the deep had white hair.

33Nothing on earth is its equal—

a creature without fear.

34It looks down on all that are haughty;

it is king over all that are proud.”

And Psalm 104 (NASB)

1Bless the LORD, O my soul!
            O LORD my God, You are very great;
            You are clothed with splendor and majesty,

      2Covering Yourself with light as with a cloak,
            Stretching out heaven like a tent curtain.

      3He lays the beams of His upper chambers in the waters;
            He makes the clouds His chariot;
            He walks upon the wings of the wind;

      4He makes the winds His messengers,
            Flaming fire His ministers.

      5He established the earth upon its foundations,
            So that it will not totter forever and ever.

      6You covered it with the deep as with a garment;
            The waters were standing above the mountains.

      7At Your rebuke they fled,
            At the sound of Your thunder they hurried away.

      8The mountains rose; the valleys sank down
            To the place which You established for them.

      9You set a boundary that they may not pass over,
            So that they will not return to cover the earth.

      10He sends forth springs in the valleys;
            They flow between the mountains;

      11They give drink to every beast of the field;
            The wild donkeys quench their thirst.

      12Beside them the birds of the heavens dwell;
            They lift up their voices among the branches.

      13He waters the mountains from His upper chambers;
            The earth is satisfied with the fruit of His works.

      14He causes the grass to grow for the cattle,
            And vegetation for the labor of man,
            So that he may bring forth food from the earth,

      15And wine which makes man’s heart glad,
            So that he may make his face glisten with oil,
            And food which sustains man’s heart.

      16The trees of the LORD drink their fill,
            The cedars of Lebanon which He planted,

      17Where the birds build their nests,
            And the stork, whose home is the fir trees.

      18The high mountains are for the wild goats;
            The cliffs are a refuge for the shephanim.

      19He made the moon for the seasons;
            The sun knows the place of its setting.

      20You appoint darkness and it becomes night,
            In which all the beasts of the forest prowl about.

      21The young lions roar after their prey
            And seek their food from God.

      22When the sun rises they withdraw
            And lie down in their dens.

      23Man goes forth to his work
            And to his labor until evening.

      24O LORD, how many are Your works!
            In wisdom You have made them all;
            The earth is full of Your possessions.

      25There is the sea, great and broad,
            In which are swarms without number,
            Animals both small and great.

      26There the ships move along,
            And Leviathan, which You have formed to sport in it.

      27They all wait for You
            To give them their food in due season.

      28You give to them, they gather it up;
            You open Your hand, they are satisfied with good.

      29You hide Your face, they are dismayed;
            You take away their spirit, they expire
            And return to their dust.

      30You send forth Your Spirit, they are created;
            And You renew the face of the ground.

      31Let the glory of the LORD endure forever;
            Let the LORD be glad in His works;

      32He looks at the earth, and it trembles;
            He touches the mountains, and they smoke.

      33I will sing to the LORD as long as I live;
            I will sing praise to my God while I have my being.

      34Let my meditation be pleasing to Him;
            As for me, I shall be glad in the LORD.

      35Let sinners be consumed from the earth
            And let the wicked be no more.
            Bless the LORD, O my soul.
            Praise the LORD!

I have also come to believe that Bible was written in layers. "Face value" is entirely based on someone else's interpretation. These are echoes of ancient thoughts, and those echoes lead me to new transformations and understandings. Please, do not assume that when I share scripture that I have a typical understanding of it, or that I am completely agreeing with the translation that I have shared. When I read it I always adjust bits in my head to suit what I have learned from studying the Hebrew and Greek, and Modern and Ancient Judaic thoughts, but it would get verbose and beside the point to even begin to explain all that at this time. 

 What I have come to learn about pagans and myself is that there are many varieties, but essentially the meaning would be that there is a firm conviction that the spirit world is relational and that we should respect and interact to the best of our ability. I have known that principle for quite a long time, but I felt blocked. I couldn't understand why I felt so lonely and ineffective. Essentially, it was because I was living a lie. Allegorically I was like a beautiful piece of furniture that had been painted over with a faux grain to imitate what was really happening beneath the surface. Why fake reality? Being raised in churches all my life I had been taught a way of spiritual interaction that was "a form of godliness that had denied its power." The "dark night of the soul" that I entered into as I was compelled to seek the substance of my truth was really quite excruciating, lonely, and complicated. The other side, however, is quite the opposite, for the most part. Pantheons of spirit helpers are always close, Divine Messengers, i.e. Faeries, i.e Angels.

A Syncretic Pagan might be a good way of defining what I am now, although, in the pagan sense of the word I probably have a long way to go and could potentially offend as many on both sides of the fence with my self-defining. At the risk of over-simplification, let me say this, I was raised to believe that I was part of a body, the body being a bride, the bride being betrothed to Christ. I am going to try and keep this positive, but what I have come to believe is that that was one of the biggest lies of the past 2,000 or so years, and cause for the murder of many of the world's best and brightest. I want to believe that there was a higher purpose, and I look to the Christ-consciousness to try and understand that. Lies aside, the truth was never very far. Alongside the false bride the true bride shone, hidden in plain sight. The true bride is the spirit of a place, not a people. The Priestess of a New Earth, she shines with glory and splendor, her gates being the tribulations of men soothed and beautified with time, she is the Matriarchal Spirit of Symbiosis, Balance, Beauty, Healing, and more that we will come to understand. These concepts fascinated me, and then I found their counterparts and ancient explanations. The Pagan way honors both God and Goddess. The Patriarchal ways of Catholicism, Judaism, and Christianity, as well as any other Patriarchal religions, have no true goddess. The Goddess, the Bride of the Begotten Son, has been shining all along, but I wasn't allowed to see her. Now I have learned that my purpose in life is to adorn her with my good deeds. Beyond environmentalism and ecology is honor, even worship. To find again the ways of honoring Gaia, and the Place Where Peace Dwells... The New Jeru Salem. How ironic that the old Jerusalem is a place that represents the opposite of peace. I really only began to come to an beautiful understanding the book of Revelation when I began to understand the true Christ-consciousness, the bride and the false bride (Jezebel), the good deeds for a New Earth of the New Age saints, the trees for healing, recognizing the false apostle and his cronies and names, marks of the forehead/the third eye. Here is some reading if you also have much to learn about Christ-consciousness, it begins to explain: http://www.ctrforchristcon.org/christ-consciousness.asp



There is much that I am still learning, but wherever I am I am always a guest at a great wedding feast between a God and a Goddess,  looking to celebrate with beauty and healing and peace. I do not yet fully understand the balance of the universe, the light and dark, the good and evil, the above and below, but I feel that my soul is already in a better place, already safer and more calm. There is so much that I am excited to learn about the NeoPagan Path, and I don't feel that there is a need to organize the thoughts of my life into separate categories. The are connected, they belong together. If they are blogged anywhere they might as well all be blogged here. Be Blessed!


Footnote:

Alethia is the Greek name for the Spirit of Truth. She is alive and well, although she is more of a key, less of a weapon. Knowing that I am not Alethia, but that I believe she has been one of my guides, I hesitate to state boldly that I can fully separate lies and truth, sometimes they really aren't different, sometimes it is the perspective that is off. I think history, including the books of the Bible, are very skewed by perspective, so although I love history and will refer to it, I hesitate to quote anything to a great extent, knowing that my perspective of it is quite likely very different. I will place things in quotes that are verbatim. I am not sure that I have many original thoughts, I'm not sure anyone does, but the way we put those thoughts together can be original. It would be nearly impossible for me to track down the source of all my thoughts, and even in quoting others I may be quoting an ancient plagiarist. I have a plethora of thoughts to back up everything that I say, but the best depth of thought can many times only really be achieved through conversation. "Where two or three are gathered...."





About the photo: I captured this image this morning on the screen door of my porch. I believe this to be a moth of the family Geometridae, which essentially means earth or Gaia, a Gaia Moth, although they are commonly referred to as Geometer Moths, I think I will refer to it as a Gaia Moth. It appears to be of the species called False Crocus, and I think it is that, but all the other photos that I have found to compare it to have a dark angel at the tail wings rather than a white one as seen in the above photo. Also, this moth has been sitting on my door the entire time that I have been blogging. There were two, but the other one flew away when I began taking photos. This one has stayed even though the door has been opened and closed many times. I like to read into such occurrences as messengers of nature, often offering vibrational gifts. The vibrational message I am taking at the moment has to do with its colors, primarily yellow. Here are some color thoughts from another site, I hope they don't mind if I link this: "

The Color Yellow

The color yellow is the color of

the mind and the intellect

This color relates to acquired knowledge. It is the color which resonates with the left or logic side of the brain stimulating our mental faculties and creating mental agility and perception.

Being the lightest hue of the spectrum, the color psychology of yellow is uplifting and illuminating, offering hope, happiness, cheerfulness and fun. 

In the meaning of colors, yellow inspires original thought and inquisitiveness. 

Yellow is creative from a mental aspect, the color of new ideas, helping us to find new ways of doing things. It is the practical thinker, not the dreamer." http://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/color-yellow.html