Being American

We did it. We created America. A few hundred years have gone by and we are still here, the Americans. Who are we? Who am I? This American that I am.

This morning I awoke to the sound of my alarm clock radio and an NPR interview with American musician Zack Condon. He is different from me, but his words resonated similarities. Searching the world for my own sound. Finding it at home. Thank you for that, Zack.

I haven't actually gone searching like he did, but my husband has done some traveling. The more he reflects on the differences in places and cultures the more I wonder who we are, as a people. Are we a people. The world seems to see us a people, "those Americans." Some want to be us, some want to destroy us, but they all know that we are here. Whoever we are.

We came here to this country from all over the world and fought with the people that were already here. I was told in Christian School that they were heathens. I am now surprised that people are still saying that. Less people are saying that, but people are still saying that.

We have attempted to destroyed this place. We have cut down the ancient forests. We have polluted the pristine streams. We have poisoned the fish and obliterated the birds and slaughtered the buffalo. We have made a mess of things. I was taught that we should be proud of ourselves. I am ashamed.

If we continue to recreate our futures as we have been living the past we may miss out on the opportunity to learn the best lessons from our deep-rooted histories. Travelers from America go looking all over the world for meaning and perspective. They go to places with older architecture and older habits and they litter and offend and spend lots of money and come home feeling richer for it. Why? What are they bringing back except bragging rights?

We should become humble. We should share this earth with all living things, as much as we possibly know how, and we know how, but greed prevents it. Fear prevents it. Will fear save us from ourselves?

What does it mean to be an American. An American housewife at that. You may have guessed by now that I am led by my heart. That my children motivate my thoughts on the future. All children motivate my thoughts for the future. What sort of future are we laying out for them? What tools are we giving them to survive and thrive?

I'd like to think that we are learning, evolving into a kinder more symbiotic species. Maybe we need a  cold, hard glimpse of ourselves, maybe we need mercy. I have read the histories of religions. I have talked with and listened to atheists. I have become pagan.

A Pagan American, what is that? I hesitate to seek out other pagans, I know we are all on our own path. Paganism is a journey of experience. Perhaps a love of nature unites? The invaders of this pristine land called the original people pagans. May we reignite the lessons that the spirits of the land taught them, and become a new type of people, a blending of the old ways inspired by the lessons we have learned for the new ways. May this melting pot of fury and pain and greed and quest boil down into a wisdom and hope and love. May we find our true freedom and the freedom that belongs to this place. May we live in true peace. We are all Earthlings, we are made of stars.