So many good vibrations today, and maybe a few not so good ones, but they are the mysteries, not the fears, at least not at the moment. Blogging started out as a bit of an exercise in finding myself, and then I found a mess of myself! I had so much to say I created several blogs to organize all the areas of my thoughts and then my thoughts were evolving so quickly that I felt ashamed of most of the depth of my writings. I am no longer ashamed, even though I have changed a great deal, sort of. Really, what has happened is that I have truly found myself. The layers of paint that others applied have been pealed off layer by layer until all that remains is the wood grain, the instinctual pattern of who I am, the evidence of the type of roots and fruit that my type can produce. What is my type? Turns out that I am a NeoPagan Tree, rooted in the ancient instincts of Euro-Paganism, but with a New World twist, a new understanding of spiritual interactions. Two things that Peter pointed out for the Gentiles that would follow the New Way were no blood sacrifices and no non-committal orgies, in other words, "the marriage bed is sacred," respect it and enjoy it as such, and you don't have to kill things to honor God, quite the opposite. Historically these two things, blood sacrifice and orgies, were the foothold for much despair, although, there is no blame being laid here, just learning.
From what I understand, technically, the word "pagan" means someone who is not Catholic, Jewish, or Christian (followers of the teachings of Paul's version of Jesus). For many people "pagan" is synonymous with "heathen" or "hedonistic," but these days the term is more accurately understood to mean "the people that look to nature to find their gods." I started down that path because of verses I read in the Bible, such as:
Job 12:3-10 (NASB) "
3“But I have intelligence as well as you;
I am not inferior to you
And who does not know such things as these?
4“I am a joke to my friends,
The one who called on God and He answered him;
The just
and blameless
man is a joke.
5“He who is at ease holds calamity in contempt,
As prepared for those whose feet slip.
6“The tents of the destroyers prosper,
And those who provoke God are secure,
Whom God brings into their power.
7“But now ask the beasts, and let them teach you;
And the birds of the heavens, and let them tell you.
8“Or speak to the earth, and let it teach you;
And let the fish of the sea declare to you.
9“Who among all these does not know
That the hand of the L
ORD has done this,
10In whose hand is the life of every living thing,
And the breath of all mankind?"
And Job 40:6-41
6Then the
Lord spoke to Job out of the storm:
7“Brace yourself like a man;
I will question you,
and you shall answer me.
8“Would you discredit my justice?
Would you condemn me to justify yourself?
9Do you have an arm like God’s,
and can your voice thunder like his?
10Then adorn yourself with glory and splendor,
and clothe yourself in honor and majesty.
11Unleash the fury of your wrath,
look at all who are proud and bring them low,
12look at all who are proud and humble them,
crush the wicked where they stand.
13Bury them all in the dust together;
shroud their faces in the grave.
14Then I myself will admit to you
that your own right hand can save you.
which I made along with you
and which feeds on grass like an ox.
16What strength it has in its loins,
what power in the muscles of its belly!
17Its tail sways like a cedar;
the sinews of its thighs are close-knit.
18Its bones are tubes of bronze,
its limbs like rods of iron.
19It ranks first among the works of God,
yet its Maker can approach it with his sword.
20The hills bring it their produce,
and all the wild animals play nearby.
21Under the lotus plants it lies,
hidden among the reeds in the marsh.
22The lotuses conceal it in their shadow;
the poplars by the stream surround it.
23A raging river does not alarm it;
it is secure, though the Jordan should surge against its mouth.
24Can anyone capture it by the eyes,
or trap it and pierce its nose?
1“Can you pull in Leviathan with a fishhook
or tie down its tongue with a rope?
2Can you put a cord through its nose
or pierce its jaw with a hook?
3Will it keep begging you for mercy?
Will it speak to you with gentle words?
4Will it make an agreement with you
for you to take it as your slave for life?
5Can you make a pet of it like a bird
or put it on a leash for the young women in your house?
6Will traders barter for it?
Will they divide it up among the merchants?
7Can you fill its hide with harpoons
or its head with fishing spears?
8If you lay a hand on it,
you will remember the struggle and never do it again!
9Any hope of subduing it is false;
the mere sight of it is overpowering.
10No one is fierce enough to rouse it.
Who then is able to stand against me?
11Who has a claim against me that I must pay?
Everything under heaven belongs to me.
12“I will not fail to speak of Leviathan’s limbs,
its strength and its graceful form.
13Who can strip off its outer coat?
Who can penetrate its double coat of armor ?
14Who dares open the doors of its mouth,
ringed about with fearsome teeth?
15Its back has rows of shields
tightly sealed together;
16each is so close to the next
that no air can pass between.
17They are joined fast to one another;
they cling together and cannot be parted.
18Its snorting throws out flashes of light;
its eyes are like the rays of dawn.
19Flames stream from its mouth;
sparks of fire shoot out.
20Smoke pours from its nostrils
as from a boiling pot over burning reeds.
21Its breath sets coals ablaze,
and flames dart from its mouth.
22Strength resides in its neck;
dismay goes before it.
23The folds of its flesh are tightly joined;
they are firm and immovable.
24Its chest is hard as rock,
hard as a lower millstone.
25When it rises up, the mighty are terrified;
they retreat before its thrashing.
26The sword that reaches it has no effect,
nor does the spear or the dart or the javelin.
27Iron it treats like straw
and bronze like rotten wood.
28Arrows do not make it flee;
slingstones are like chaff to it.
29A club seems to it but a piece of straw;
it laughs at the rattling of the lance.
30Its undersides are jagged potsherds,
leaving a trail in the mud like a threshing sledge.
31It makes the depths churn like a boiling caldron
and stirs up the sea like a pot of ointment.
32It leaves a glistening wake behind it;
one would think the deep had white hair.
33Nothing on earth is its equal—
a creature without fear.
34It looks down on all that are haughty;
it is king over all that are proud.”
And Psalm 104 (NASB)
1Bless the LORD, O my soul!
O LORD my God, You are very great;
You are clothed with splendor and majesty,
2Covering Yourself with light as with a cloak,
Stretching out heaven like a
tent curtain.
3He lays the beams of His upper chambers in the waters;
He makes the clouds His chariot;
He walks upon the wings of the wind;
4He makes the winds His messengers,
Flaming fire His ministers.
5He established the earth upon its foundations,
So that it will not totter forever and ever.
6You covered it with the deep as with a garment;
The waters were standing above the mountains.
7At Your rebuke they fled,
At the sound of Your thunder they hurried away.
8The mountains rose; the valleys sank down
To the place which You established for them.
9You set a boundary that they may not pass over,
So that they will not return to cover the earth.
10He sends forth springs in the valleys;
They flow between the mountains;
11They give drink to every beast of the field;
The wild donkeys quench their thirst.
12Beside them the birds of the heavens dwell;
They lift up
their voices among the branches.
13He waters the mountains from His upper chambers;
The earth is satisfied with the fruit of His works.
14He causes the grass to grow for the cattle,
And vegetation for the labor of man,
So that he may bring forth food from the earth,
15And wine which makes man’s heart glad,
So that he may make
his face glisten with oil,
And food which sustains man’s heart.
16The trees of the L
ORD drink their fill,
The cedars of Lebanon which He planted,
17Where the birds build their nests,
And the stork, whose home is the fir trees.
18The high mountains are for the wild goats;
The cliffs are a refuge for the shephanim.
19He made the moon for the seasons;
The sun knows the place of its setting.
20You appoint darkness and it becomes night,
In which all the beasts of the forest prowl about.
21The young lions roar after their prey
And seek their food from God.
22When the sun rises they withdraw
And lie down in their dens.
23Man goes forth to his work
And to his labor until evening.
24O L
ORD, how many are Your works!
In wisdom You have made them all;
The earth is full of Your possessions.
25There is the sea, great and broad,
In which are swarms without number,
Animals both small and great.
26There the ships move along,
And Leviathan, which You have formed to sport in it.
27They all wait for You
To give them their food in due season.
28You give to them, they gather
it up;
You open Your hand, they are satisfied with good.
29You hide Your face, they are dismayed;
You take away their spirit, they expire
And return to their dust.
30You send forth Your Spirit, they are created;
And You renew the face of the ground.
31Let the glory of the L
ORD endure forever;
Let the L
ORD be glad in His works;
32He looks at the earth, and it trembles;
He touches the mountains, and they smoke.
33I will sing to the L
ORD as long as I live;
I will sing praise to my God while I have my being.
34Let my meditation be pleasing to Him;
As for me, I shall be glad in the L
ORD.
35Let sinners be consumed from the earth
And let the wicked be no more.
Bless the L
ORD, O my soul.
Praise the L
ORD!
I have also come to believe that Bible was written in layers. "Face value" is entirely based on someone else's interpretation. These are echoes of ancient thoughts, and those echoes lead me to new transformations and understandings. Please, do not assume that when I share scripture that I have a typical understanding of it, or that I am completely agreeing with the translation that I have shared. When I read it I always adjust bits in my head to suit what I have learned from studying the Hebrew and Greek, and Modern and Ancient Judaic thoughts, but it would get verbose and beside the point to even begin to explain all that at this time.
What I have come to learn about pagans and myself is that there are many varieties, but essentially the meaning would be that there is a firm conviction that the spirit world is relational and that we should respect and interact to the best of our ability. I have known that principle for quite a long time, but I felt blocked. I couldn't understand why I felt so lonely and ineffective. Essentially, it was because I was living a lie. Allegorically I was like a beautiful piece of furniture that had been painted over with a faux grain to imitate what was really happening beneath the surface. Why fake reality? Being raised in churches all my life I had been taught a way of spiritual interaction that was "a form of godliness that had denied its power." The "dark night of the soul" that I entered into as I was compelled to seek the substance of my truth was really quite excruciating, lonely, and complicated. The other side, however, is quite the opposite, for the most part. Pantheons of spirit helpers are always close, Divine Messengers, i.e. Faeries, i.e Angels.
A Syncretic Pagan might be a good way of defining what I am now, although, in the pagan sense of the word I probably have a long way to go and could potentially offend as many on both sides of the fence with my self-defining. At the risk of over-simplification, let me say this, I was raised to believe that I was part of a body, the body being a bride, the bride being betrothed to Christ. I am going to try and keep this positive, but what I have come to believe is that that was one of the biggest lies of the past 2,000 or so years, and cause for the murder of many of the world's best and brightest. I want to believe that there was a higher purpose, and I look to the Christ-consciousness to try and understand that. Lies aside, the truth was never very far. Alongside the false bride the true bride shone, hidden in plain sight. The true bride is the spirit of a place, not a people. The Priestess of a New Earth, she shines with glory and splendor, her gates being the tribulations of men soothed and beautified with time, she is the Matriarchal Spirit of Symbiosis, Balance, Beauty, Healing, and more that we will come to understand. These concepts fascinated me, and then I found their counterparts and ancient explanations. The Pagan way honors both God and Goddess. The Patriarchal ways of Catholicism, Judaism, and Christianity, as well as any other Patriarchal religions, have no true goddess. The Goddess, the Bride of the Begotten Son, has been shining all along, but I wasn't allowed to see her. Now I have learned that my purpose in life is to adorn her with my good deeds. Beyond environmentalism and ecology is honor, even worship. To find again the ways of honoring Gaia, and the Place Where Peace Dwells... The New Jeru Salem. How ironic that the old Jerusalem is a place that represents the opposite of peace. I really only began to come to an beautiful understanding the book of Revelation when I began to understand the true Christ-consciousness, the bride and the false bride (Jezebel), the good deeds for a New Earth of the New Age saints, the trees for healing, recognizing the false apostle and his cronies and names, marks of the forehead/the third eye. Here is some reading if you also have much to learn about Christ-consciousness, it begins to explain:
http://www.ctrforchristcon.org/christ-consciousness.asp
There is much that I am still learning, but wherever I am I am always a guest at a great wedding feast between a God and a Goddess, looking to celebrate with beauty and healing and peace. I do not yet fully understand the balance of the universe, the light and dark, the good and evil, the above and below, but I feel that my soul is already in a better place, already safer and more calm. There is so much that I am excited to learn about the NeoPagan Path, and I don't feel that there is a need to organize the thoughts of my life into separate categories. The are connected, they belong together. If they are blogged anywhere they might as well all be blogged here. Be Blessed!
Footnote:
Alethia is the Greek name for the Spirit of Truth. She is alive and well, although she is more of a key, less of a weapon. Knowing that I am not Alethia, but that I believe she has been one of my guides, I hesitate to state boldly that I can fully separate lies and truth, sometimes they really aren't different, sometimes it is the perspective that is off. I think history, including the books of the Bible, are very skewed by perspective, so although I love history and will refer to it, I hesitate to quote anything to a great extent, knowing that my perspective of it is quite likely very different. I will place things in quotes that are verbatim. I am not sure that I have many original thoughts, I'm not sure anyone does, but the way we put those thoughts together can be original. It would be nearly impossible for me to track down the source of all my thoughts, and even in quoting others I may be quoting an ancient plagiarist. I have a plethora of thoughts to back up everything that I say, but the best depth of thought can many times only really be achieved through conversation. "Where two or three are gathered...."
About the photo: I captured this image this morning on the screen door of my porch. I believe this to be a moth of the family Geometridae, which essentially means earth or Gaia, a Gaia Moth, although they are commonly referred to as Geometer Moths, I think I will refer to it as a Gaia Moth. It appears to be of the species called False Crocus, and I think it is that, but all the other photos that I have found to compare it to have a dark angel at the tail wings rather than a white one as seen in the above photo. Also, this moth has been sitting on my door the entire time that I have been blogging. There were two, but the other one flew away when I began taking photos. This one has stayed even though the door has been opened and closed many times. I like to read into such occurrences as messengers of nature, often offering vibrational gifts. The vibrational message I am taking at the moment has to do with its colors, primarily yellow. Here are some color thoughts from another site, I hope they don't mind if I link this: "
The Color Yellow
The color yellow is the color of
the mind and the intellect
This color relates to acquired knowledge. It is the color which resonates with the left or logic side of the brain stimulating our mental faculties and creating mental agility and perception.
Being the lightest hue of the spectrum, the color psychology of yellow is uplifting and illuminating, offering hope, happiness, cheerfulness and fun.
In the meaning of colors, yellow inspires original thought and inquisitiveness.
